El Otro Niño by Lorraine Donlon

El Otro Niño written by Lorraine Donlon is a draw it out guidebook/journal for children dealing with a special needs sibling.

Written in clear and simple language, El Otro Niño is an excellent learning tool for children to use with parents, grandparents, educators, special education service providers and social workers. Targeted for children between five- and twelve-years-old, El Otro Niño, validates the complex feelings of being the sibling to a brother or sister with special needs. It encourages siblings to express their feelings through art and writing. The book also allows siblings to appreciate their brother/sister, to respect and accept their strengths, as well as their weaknesses. It also highlights the similarities between siblings. More importantly, El Otro Niño is the beginning of an honest conversation.

While my son is an only child, I would highly recommend this book to parents with multiple children. I also believe that this book should be added to every school library and/or used with sibling support groups. It's important that children understand their feelings. El Otro Niño supports awareness and acceptance.

The sibling of sisters with special needs, Donlon wrote this book from her own experience. Born in 1959, Donlon was considered "lucky" to be "normal." However, she admits that she "didn't feel lucky" and often felt "guilty" for being a typically developing child while her sisters were "very low functioning" and "mostly non-verbal." Donlon shared that she "created El Otro Niño as a coloring book because I wanted very small children to know that all the feelings they were experiencing were nothing to be ashamed of - and actually a very normal response to a very stressful situation. Letting kids have a place to draw and talk about what they are feeling also gives caring parents insights into what "el otro niño" is feeling so concerns can be addressed in a loving and supportive way."

Donlon's advice to parents: Find a way to have "alone" time with the typically developing child. Kids with special needs demand a lot of time, energy, and resources. It's important to remember that the typically developing kids need attention too - special 1:1 time where they can just be kids and feel important.

Donlon's advice to "El Otro Niño": It's OK to need your parents, too. It's OK to have really strong feelings - both positive and negative - and that there are caring adults who will listen. It's also important for kids to know they are not alone - and can feel very reassured when they realize other siblings have felt the same way.

El Otro Niño is available on Amazon for $10.95 and is also available in English (The Other Kid).

---------

Lisa Quinones-Fontanez is a secretary by day, MFA Creative Writing CCNY student/blogger by night and Mommy round the clock. Lisa also is the author of AutismWonderland. Her writing has been featured in Being Latino, BronxMama and Tiki Tiki Blog.